Thinking about a Man

Sarah's recent post has made me think (again) about my relationship. I don't actually know Sarah, but I enjoy reading her blog.

I am 31 years old and in my first longterm relationship. I have been with a lovely, fantastic guy for almost a year and a half and we have talked about marriage and made plenty of comments about the future and how we would like to spend it together.

The thing is, there is this Doubt. When I read Sarah's comments about her boyfriend, she is completely nuts about him, and I am not completely nuts about my man. There, I've said it!

I don't know if my face does light up when I see him. I don't think about him all the time and I don't feel the excitement that I expected to feel when I found someone that I planned to spend the rest of my life with.

I do find that the Doubt is bigger when I am not with him. When I am with him, I realise how fantastic he is, how he is cute, how he is loving and how I enjoy being with him. But... I don't want to sell him short. He is nuts about me and I would like for him to be with someone who is nuts about him too. I am hoping that my nuttiness will grow or that maybe I'm being unrealistic expecting the lightning and thunder of all the books and movies.

My sister said that she started thinking that he might be the one for me when she found out about a silly nickname I have for him and also when I didn't get sick of him after spending a lot of time with him! I love my sister dearly but I do get sick of even her after a few days, which hasn't happened with the man.

Hmmmm.

If you are reading, feel free to comment! If you're not reading, thoughts are welcome ;)