Contraception Again

Hello again!

I have comments from two different people - that's pretty exciting. Thanks, Sarah and Brandy.

I have just had an IUD put in and I thought I should report for your greater edification.

A helpful person has taken this
picture of one. I think it's slightly smaller in real life!

I was given a helpful advice sheet that said to take a painkiller, have some food and to eat something sweet beforehand, so I did. The painkiller I took was only Disprin, so I doubt that it did much, but I doubt that it made anything worse :) I also had a raspberry leaf tea to help me and my appropriate muscles relax.

The actual putting in really wasn't too bad - I was worried that it would be really painful and I thought it would involve more bleeding (I don't think there was any blood at all). It really was just like period cramps.

However, my body did react to it a bit, meaning my blood pressure dropped, so I had to lie down for a while and they kept checking my pulse and my blood pressure and they even gave me oxygen (and a barley sugar and a sweet tea - but not all at once)! I do have low blood pressure anyway - it's partly a genetic thing. Trevor made me stay at home for the rest of the day (I think I could have gone back to work, but now I get to stay at home and read books and play on the Internet - I'm not complaining!).

It was great having him there with me. In fact, I was really lucky in that I had the Doctor, a nurse and Trevor, so I was well supported, and the nurse was making conversation so it took my mind off the thought of what was going on and the cramping (which, as I said, wasn't actually that bad).

So, all in all, I would say that it has been a little uncomfortable, but that I was well prepared and I'm feeling fine.

I asked if I could stay on my pill for a month or so because I thought it might counteract the potential heavy first period. The Doctor encouraged me to do that and even suggested that I stay on the pill for six weeks, so I'm happy with that.

And married life is good! It's not all about contraception ;) I do enjoy sharing my whole life with Trevor. I do need some "me" time, but it's cool being part of the big and little things in each other's lives - like cleaning our teeth, going to the supermarket, getting a joint bank account, making sure one of us takes some toothpaste when we go on holiday, making sure he eats breakfast, finding out that we need a new duvet because we have different temperature requirements in bed, having sex...

Parchemina's Tips for Virgin Brides

I find myself in a strange kind of limbo land...

I am 32 and I've never had sex, but I am about to get married and I do plan to have sex after that. So "Trevor" and I have been finding out about contraception. There is something quite amusing about talking to people about contraception as a 32 year old virgin!

As a result of this limbo land experience, I have decided that I will try to talk to more people about contraception so that they know what's available and who are good people to talk to about it. I'm not going to accost random strangers or anything like that, but if there are appropriate people and appropriate conversations, I will share my newfound knowledge.

Trevor and I weren't keen on the idea of going on the Pill, and I particularly wasn't keen on going on it just before we got married, what with the possible mood swings, skin problems and other such things it might cause. But we have been through a very good decision-making time together and have eventually ended up with me on a progestogen only pill. It's going fine so far, but I only started it on Friday!

We first thought that IUDs (intra uterine devices) looked promising, but since I haven't had any children (no immaculate conceptions for me, thankfully!) that's not such a good idea. And I found the pre-exam uncomfortable enough. Plus the fact that the first month is apparently rather uncomfortable - not so good in combination with the month before your wedding!

Another piece of advice that I would like to share with anyone else in my position (I'm sure there are some others out there!) is that it's probably a good thing to check out more than a month before your wedding. I felt too silly to do anything about it earlier, but I think it could have been a good idea. And there were good books in the library once I was brave enough to get them out!

So there we go... I might start a series if I can think of any more useful tips :)

I am very unmotivated at work today.

But, on a happier note, I am finally getting excited about getting married. I never thought that there would need to be a "finally" about that! It's so much easier to try to understand other people than to try to understand myself.

I suspect it's partly because I saw the wedding as a project and I've never been a big fan of projects. I once even handed in a project entitled "An Unfinished Project."

I'm getting married! :o How did that happen?!

How will I know?

I am a bit worried that I'm not more excited about getting married. Is it because I'm worried about the money, because I'm a bit stressed about the organisation thing, because when I was single I tried to convince myself that it wasn't that important and I was more succesful than I thought, because I don't want to be the obnoxious woman telling everyone about her fiancé all the time, or because I don't actually want to get married?

I really need to get this sorted before we get much further...

Time

I don't know how other people manage their time.

I am often running late for things, having toast for dinner, meaning to get around to doing the dishes, and rushing out the door wishing that I had learnt from the last time I rushed out of the house...

I also have a messy room. Although my Mum just popped in and had a look at my room and said that it was looking better than usual. Yay! (Even at 32, I still care what my mother thinks of my room.)

I have read a few books on time management, being organised, etc, but I normally end up quickly skim reading them the day before they're due back at the library. I mean, which would you rather read, Harry Potter or a time management book? And at least I get them back to the library on time (normally).

I think I do a fairly normal amount of things - work full time, flat with one person, have a boyfriend, see my parents once a week or so, go to church, study one extramural paper, go to an Amnesty International group once a month, go to a couple of Christian groups, watch sport... I wouldn't have thought it was more or less than a lot of people. But somehow, the dishes keep appearing, the piles of paper on the floor keep growing, and I always need to do washing...

The last organising book I read (Time Management for the Overwhelmed, or something similarly realistic) had a helpful suggestion - instead of a diary, it suggested a folder that I could organise in the most helpful way for me. It sounds promising. So I have a section for each day of the week, then a to do list and then things I do monthly.

Maybe this one will be the one for me?

Engaging the Mind

Hello Faithful Reader!

(Well, I know at least one person reads this.)

Now that I seem to have finally got over the Doubt about my relationship with my Man - let's call him Trevor, shall we - I am having trouble not trying to rush ahead into the next stage. Or rather, I'm having trouble waiting for it to happen and not living it out in my head before it happens.

You see, Trevor and I have been together for almost two years (Two years! Yes, it's amazing! My previous record was 2 1/2 months and his was even less.) and we're both in our thirties. And we have talked about marriage. On several occasions. Sometimes he's brought it up and sometimes I have.

The problem is that I feel my life is sort of in limbo at the moment until we get married. I don't want to buy things that I won't need when we get married, I don't want to plan too far ahead, blah blah blah... and we're not even engaged! So I expect it will be at least a year - well OK, six months, until any marriage happens.

But the main point I have is that now, whenever we do anything, I find it hard just to enjoy the moment and keep wondering if he's going to propose. Any thoughts about how to just relax?

I have had a cunning method in the past for getting past this kind of problem - I would exaggerate and exaggerate my possible scenario until it was completely ridiculous and made me laugh. Example: I'm sitting at work or in a lecture daydreaming about some guy, start thinking "wouldn't it be great if he emailed/called/talked to me now?" Start daydreaming about that, then catch myself and think, OK, let's imagine he turns up at work... dressed as a gorilla... with the All Black team... singing some obscure pop hit from the 80s that only I remember. That's better.

It's not really working with the whole engagement thing any more though...

I don't have any problem with females proposing to males, but I would like to make myself wait for him to do it. I have ruined surprises before and then felt bad for stealing Trevor's thunder, and I just think it would be so much nicer if he did it rather than me rushing in and doing it all myself.

I will keep you posted, Faithful Reader.

Interview Me!

Thanks to Sarah of Pink Cereal and Raspberries for humouring me and interviewing me.


1) What is your proudest moment?

I'm really not sure! I recently remembered the time that I came third in a poetry competition at school. I had recently left the school (it was overseas) and completely forgotten about it when a friend told me I'd won. It didn't hurt that the second prize poem was later shown to have been plagiarised!


Other things I've been proud of:


Managing to hold my goddaughter during church and having her not cry
Finishing a mountain bike race and then doing it faster every year since
Having a kid who I used to lead in Youth Group remember me


2) What's the news on you and the man? Have you found the spark, the sizzle, the lovely level of being happy together?


I think we have found a lovely level of being happy together. There still isn't that "wow" feeling that I thought I'd have of being totally, utterly and completely nuts about him, but I think he is absolutely amazing and I can't quite believe I'm lucky enough to have him. And he loves me and I have a big soppy smile on my face as I type this, so maybe it's just that I'm not admitting how nuts about him I am!

Plus I'm sure enough about him to be thinking about a long future together...


3) If you could move anywhere in the world, but you had to stay there for a year, where would you go and why?

Paris! Because it's a fantastic place anyway but also because I lived there during some of my "formative years" and I always feel that there's a part of me there. And because I'd get to speak French. :)


4) What is your biggest regret?

Being a wimp. I am not confident enough about many things, but mountain biking is a good example. My lack of confidence makes me more likely worry and then make mistakes and then to be less confident and more likely to hesitate and make mistakes and blah blah blah... vicious circle.


5) What are the ten things you would most like to accomplish in the next five years?

To get married (to the man mentioned above!)
To pay off my credit card and keep it paid off
To get involved in Bible translation
To have a tidy room (especially if I'm sharing it!)
To learn another language
To be able to play the guitar well enough to play a few songs without music
To work and live in Paris (more of a dream...)
To visit my best friend overseas
To go to Latin America
To free a prisoner of conscience
To be more present in everyday life and the lives of the people around me



If you would like to play the interview game, here are the rules:
Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
-I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
-You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
-You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
-When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.